I see a long distance relationship as a 3 in 1 relationship – the Skype Relationship, the Phone Relationship and the Facebook Relationship, as these are the main channels of communication that we long distance lovers use to sustain our love.
Sure, there is also the email relationship, the twitter relationship, the face-to-face relationship when we finally visit each-other, there could also be the classic mail relationship and so on, but from my experience and what I’ve observed, people mostly use these 3 communication channels or others alike.
That’s why in this article I’m going to talk about how to have a successful Facebook Relationship by sharing with you 16 guidelines that I follow to have a brilliant long distance relationship – meaning that I keep her attracted, connect with her better, prevent infidelity and avoid fights and arguments.
Here they come:
1. Relationship Status: In a Relationship With
Imagine a guy liking your girlfriend, he’d look for her on Facebook and find out that she’s in a relationship with you – most probably he’ll calm down, especially if he sees that she’s got a bunch of romantic pictures with you. So, guys won’t hit on her that much.
Now, in terms of your girlfriend being tempted to be unfaithful, she’ll think twice before compromising herself, because people talk and now anybody who’d find out about it could easily send you a message.
Relationship expert and author Debra Macleod told CTVNews that when she works with couples dealing with infidelity, nine times out of 10 the problems start, in part, because of Facebook.
“Facebook is massively problematic in the sense that all relationships have ups and downs and when it’s going through a down it’s too easy to have that temptation,” she said. “It’s at your fingertips — that old flame or that co-worker that’s just a little too supportive.”
2. Have pictures together.
As mentioned above it’s very important that both of you have pictures together “as a couple” (hugging, kissing) that would tell to potential “hunters” that she’s taken and happy in a relationship with you, thus not leaving any room for hope.
3. Keep your passwords private.
There is this tendency when being in a committed relationship for the partners to share with each other their passwords. Well, that’s a big mistake for two reasons.
First, you must have your privacy. Don’t pack your balls nicely and give them to her, simply because she asks you to. Be a man and hold onto your values. She’ll respect you more for not giving up the last personal thing you’ve got – your passwords. Plus, you create a bit of mystery in her mind, and that’s always helpful in keeping her attracted.
Second, she must have her privacy. Asking her to give you her private password to Facebook, Email (or bank account) is a needy thing to do. This means that you’re a control freak and you don’t trust her. Stop hoping that if you have her Facebook password she’ll be more faithful, because if she really wants to cheat on you, she’ll use her creativity.
4. Share fun/inspiring posts with each other.
I find it very pleasant to receive a message from my girlfriend with an interesting post that she loved and wanted to share with me. It makes me feel cared about. Well, the same way she feels when I share with her some interesting message, picture or video that I found on my wall.
As the saying goes “Sharing is caring” and in this case it really makes her feel that you care. But please, don’t overdo it.
5. Say hello if you’re both online.
If this is not something that you already do, then make sure to have an agreement with your partner to say hello to each other if you’re both online, but ‘busy’ doing something else. Meeting on Facebook is the same as meeting face to face – when you see each other, greet each other. Otherwise it simply gets too awkward.
6. Don’t over express your love for her online.
Be romantic, write cute comments to her posts and photos etc., but do that sporadically. Try to be a little more conservative about expressing your love, and this means not overdoing in on Facebook in front of everybody. Otherwise two things are gonna happen.
1. Some people might envy your relationship. And envy from others is not something you’d want, because it might affect your relationship in ways in which you would never suspect. Especially if this envy would come from someone that also hates you.
2. You’ll seem to her and to the “public” as too weak. Especially of you express your feelings more than she does. Why? Because that’s what women do, and you’re a man. Keep your great love mostly private, and save yourself these troubles.
7. Avoid online arguments!
It wasn’t only once that I’ve seen couples having fights online. And truth to be said it was a lot of fun for me and I bet for all the other readers to witness this embarrassing act of immaturity. So, take your arguments offline and solve them in a mature way, rather than making a fool of yourself.
8. Create your private Love Nest online.
A brilliant way of staying in touch with your girlfriend and also doing it in a special way is creating your private facebook group. A group that you’d customize in a romantic way and where you’d share private stuff, post interesting things that you found on the web, express your love, have fights “online” if it comes to it (but private nonetheless) and overall creating your little love nest online.
Also, an alternative to a Facebook group would be getting an account on Luvmore.com, an online platform that is offering a similar service as a private Facebook group, but created especially for couples that want to express their love online while being apart or not.
9. Be authentic with your Likes.
Just because you are her boyfriend does not mean that you should Like or Comment on everything she posts. Be authentic about it, and like and/or comment only the posts that you really like. If you are authentic with your preferences on Facebook and in life in general, she’ll trust you more and see you as a masculine man who has integrity.
10. Avoid public conversations with girl-friends.
Even if it may seem innocent to you, having a fun public conversation online with a girl-friend or even worse ex-girlfriend might set your partner on fire. Therefore my suggestion is to keep these fun conversations private, so that you avoid jealousy scenes that will most probably lead to some kind of fight.
11. Don’t leave compromising evidence.
It happened to me more than once to visit my girlfriend, and while being together, to leave my Facebook open for a while, and in that time my girlfriend would read my Facebook conversations and find some compromising or uncomfortable, for her, conversations that I had with other girls.
The result? A huge argument lasting a few days, sometimes, about those conversations that she found. And I am not talking here necessarily about conversations that prove your unfaithfulness, but simply about having somewhat “flirty conversations” with girl-friends of yours.
My suggestion – delete them, and save yourself and your girlfriend the jealousy and the endless arguments that can appear as a consequence.
12. Your relationship status is not ‘flexible’.
Changing your Facebook status from “In a relationship” to “Single” is a childish way of “sending a message” to your partner because you got angry at her. Even though this immature act is more often done by girls in the anger of the moment, or to make a little impact on you, there are some men that I’ve noticed to do that as well.
Please don’t be one of them, and if you change your relationship status, then do it for real when the relationship is actually over.
13. Comment wisely.
“Uhh, that’s a nice dress!” or “Long time no see Annie. Miss our crazy parties together!” are pretty innocent comments for us men, but for our girlfriends they may look like a red flag.
I am not saying that you should stop commenting to other girls posts in order to avoid your girlfriend’s jealousy, what I am suggesting though is to think twice before writing something that could put you in trouble.
14. Keep private things private.
Keep the intimate details of your relationship private. There is no need for other people to know ‘how good of a kisser your partner is’ or ‘that you just had a big fight with your girlfriend’. Plus it gives a poor impression of you and your partner.
15. Don’t vegetate on Facebook.
Facebook it’s become so popular that, for me, it’s the first thing I open when I go online before my email account, before Google, YouTube or anything else.
And it’s fine to use Facebook in a functional manner, but staying 5-10 hours online is something that you’d want to avoid.
Why? Because it says the wrong things about you as a man. It looks like you have nothing more interesting and important to do than to follow other people’s lives.
An attractive man for a woman is a man that has a purpose and who’s following his purpose. And this man does not have time to vegetate on Facebook, because he’s busy doing what he loves, following his passions, learning, socializing and living his life rather than following other people’s lives on Facebook.
16. Don’t be online & available 24/7.
Imagine that any time your girlfriend is going online on Facebook she find’s you online as well, eager to talk to her. Now besides the fact that you look like a guy with no interesting life, you become very predictable and too available for her.
If you’ve read my 3 Mistakes book, then you know that women love challenge and hate predictability, and if she knows that if something – she’ll find you online anytime, she’ll feel less challenged and more disinterested in communicating with you.
So, if you’re not using Facebook right now, then don’t leave it open, but close it. Don’t become the predictable boyfriend who is always available online.
Posted in Pacific Copper
Well my boy and that i are black people in america and we have been good buddies with this particular family for four years and they’re good buddies of ours. My boy is becoming extremly mounted on their boy and the other way around. They’re a pleasant Black family that’s been living by us for the four years, however they just moved to Nigeria (Gauteng to become exact) 3 several weeks ago. My boy is 13 and round the same age his or her boy, their boy is 12 almost 13, and also, since they have left he’s gone into this deep depression. That boy was his best frieind. Every given that they them departing he’s been calling their boy, as well as their boy continues to be calling my boy and they’re going to just sit and talk on the telephone for hrs sometimes crying with one another.
I’d just spoken towards the boys parents yesterday, plus they explained their boy continues to be speaking to my boy and them about moving lower there to reside together. They stated their boy continues to be pretty upset and lower and missing my boy and wanting to get along with him again. They stated their boy has been crying for them constantly about my boy, and my boy too continues to be crying in my experience randomly occasions for his or her boy.
His mother and that i are believe that our boys might have crushes on one another, because before they left, we’d seen our boys holding hands and kissing whenever we were getting a bbq in the park the final day together before they left to Nigeria. We do not know without a doubt what’s happening together, but there is a really strong brother bond that’s difficult to break. His mother explained that they and her family could be completly fine with my boy visiting accept them, which they’d take excellent proper care of him.
My boy even continues to be pleading me to allow him move lower there together with his closest friend. It isn’t which i don’t trust the household, I actually do, but I’m not sure much about Nigeria. I understand they’d take good proper care of him, and that i have confidence in them, but I am not familar using the Gauteng area. His mother explained just a little concerning the area, also it sounds pretty nice, however i still desire to be more imformed before I actually do anything. They stated their boy continues to be lonely, he’s a mature brother but he’s in the 20′s aswell as his 2 older siblings. I would like my boy to become happy, however i rather his safety over his happiness. His mother stated basically did not want my boy to maneuver lower there, that she’d be prepared to transmit her boy back by doing this to reside around rather. I’d gladly place their boy in too, but my boy really wants to move lower there and reside in Nigeria rather.
Our sons are just like siblings, these were within the same grade, did everything together, and that we never witnessed them fighting. I guaranteed him he’d have the ability to be around uncle again, however i haven’t stated when. Their loved ones wants my boy to maneuver lower there this summer time.
I’ve got a couple of questions though about this.
Does anybody have more details about Gauteng? How’s it like?
Are black people in america okay there?
The household has trained my boy a few of their native langauage, but he is not anywhere near fluent as them, would he be okay with only british?
How’s Nigeria?
Will it be better to let my boy move lower, or must i simply take their boy in rather? We would like our sons to become happy and it is hard seeing them this depressed.
I live near East Palestine, Ohio, and my boyfriend lives in East Liverpool, Ohio. I am 17 and he’s 16. I’ve my permit, but my mother don’t let me drive anywhere, due to the fact I’ve no license at this time and that i can understand.
I requested my mother if she will drive me to my boyfriend’s house, but she stated she does not wish to waste the gas in her own vehicle driving me everywhere.
I do not realise why she can’t drive me to his house, because my closest friend resided in East Liverpool and she or he drove me to her house.
Christmas is originating and I wish to have the ability to spend some time with him since we never reach spend some time together. Merely a little in school, but that is all. We simply talk on Facebook since i have can’t ever make use of the house phone.
I actually want to visit his house, but I’m not sure the way i will have the ability to. He stated that he’s getting me something for Christmas, and I wish to have the ability to provide him a Christmas present I gave him too, but that ain’t vital. I actually want to be around him.
Please let me know the way i can convince my mother they are driving me to my boyfriend’s house.
Kristina… she’s an average mother. I’d rather not say anything bad about her, but she’s mean. I simply have no idea if she may wish to or anything.
Many thanks Mick I am just gonna phone you that, but that can help a great deal. Thanks greatly
My boyfriend of two many I split up lately while he gone to live in Canada and that we did not think we’re able to handle a lengthy distance relationship. (we are both 16 years of age)
but recently, i keep considering him. i am looking to get over him, however i can’t. my buddies have attempted to cheer me up if you take me shopping and stuff, and that i know this sounds cheesy, but whenever i get out there and i see other couples it truly depresses me. i’m not sure why i can not overcome him. we still keep in contact over facebook but it is totally different from before. also, this most likely sounds pathetic, however when i imagine him with another girl i seem like crying. i miss him that bad.
anyways, i apologize for that lengthy rant, but when anybody has have you been inside a similar situation would you please assist me? i actually want to cheer up however i can’t.